Called to Serve: A Platero Cumpleanos

Mon, October 18, 2010 4:20:54 PM

So first off.... HAPPPPPYYYYYY BIIIIRRRRTHDAYYYYYYY FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS KYYYLLLLEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.. of course I didn’t forget :)

So this week is Platero week. Hna. P’s birthday is today and so I am not going to lie, I have been living well as well hahahaha. We have had gifts and super good food and already 3 cakes.. There will be another tonight. I was caked out after the first but it is all good. It is really nice it is for her to be in this area for her birthday because she has been here forever haha. But anyways.. Wish her happy birthday from the States! She turns 25! Also... I celebrated my 4 month mark on the mission, and my half birthday is Wednesday. Feel free to send gifts ;)

Also want to take a minute to talk to all of you out there who have problems. Especially within the family relationships. It is my opinion that you can solve most problems with communication.. so many families and relationships dissolve because of issues that could have been resolved much earlier. All they need is just a little more communication; to talk about things and work together to resolve issues instead of bad actions that just degrade the relationship and prolong unhappiness. First, I’m going to suggest what preach my gospel says - paraphrased - which is a companionship inventory. This is especially useful when you are around someone a lot, like a roommate or spouse. Begin with prayer - I suggest asking for guidance, an open heart and to be prepared to take constructive criticism. Discuss the strength of your relationship with your companion. Discuss any challenges that may be keeping your relationship from being unified or whatever other challenges you’re having. Resolve conflicts (gonna touch more on this later). Share with your companion what you think his or her strengths are. Ask for suggestions on how you can improve... and don’t only ask for advice. Take it and utilize it as well. If needed, set goals that will improve your relationship. Conclude with prayer.

So how does one just resolve a conflict? First, identify your problem and unmet needs. Describe your problem and needs in a non-attacking way. During this part, reveal as much as possible of RELEVANT thoughts and feelings. These can help more than you know. Every person is different, believe it or not. Don’t take for granted that they must know how you feel. A big problem is that you can have two people that are screaming their opinions and everything at each other (openly or not) but both are on different wavelengths. The person is more likely to understand why things are going the way they are if you explain; you will be more open with each other, and you will grow closer because you expressed it. Then actually consider your partner’s point of view. Do not blow it off or assume it is wrong just because it isn’t your way of doing things, because it is very real to them and by doing that, you would just make things worse. Focus on the WHY - why they may feel the way they feel. It is actually possible that in all of this, you may have to change a little bit. Negotiate a solution with that person that you BOTH honestly agree is in the best interests of all, and, most importantly, follow up on that solution. I guarantee you’ll have a much better chance of solving the problem at hand.

Any relationship of any depth will have conflict. Are you going to keep it clean or dirty? If the conflict is handled dirtily, it won’t help anything even if you do ´win´. The contentious conflict could, given the time, destroy the relationship. When the conflict is clean and you work together it can strengthen your relationship and help it grow. If there is no potential positive outcome of the fight, then there is no point. Another helpful thing to do is use I language, as in me-I not seeing-eye. For example, use ´I feel this..´ instead of ´you are, you this, you that’. ‘ You’ language is attacking, a language of judgment, and usually all you’ll get in response is a defensive reaction. ‘ I’ language is less conflicting and hey guess what? Your perception of other people and what they do is flawed so by using ‘you’ language, the entire statement is flawed ‘cuz it’s from your point of view. What you see is NOT always (and usually isn’t) what is going on. You know yourself more, making ‘I’ language the superior decision.

Remember when dealing with conflict, you are dealing with people. We have free agency, which means that other people can make decisions that affect you. How will you handle it? Sometimes all you get is the peace that comes from knowing you’ve done everything you could. ´Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.´ Remember, anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. The Lord has a purpose in requiring us to overcome challenges. The Lord can help us in anything if we have faith in Him. I love you all!

Birthday Cake: There is a tradition in Nicaragua that after the song and all, the birthday person takes a bite out of the uncut cake. Since it was Hna. Platero's birthday, this is her first bite....